On a warm summer day in Washington D.C., I sat in a small movie theater listening to a re-broadcast of a Billy graham crusade that had been previously given elsewhere. I was attending with a Christian group who ministered on the air force based where I was stationed, "Andrews Air Force Base". At the conclusion of the presentation, there was an invitation given to receive Christ and counselors were standing up front to pray with those who came forward. The house lights went up and I went forward and prayed to receive Jesus Christ into my life. This was not the moment of my true conversion, this was "preparation-of-heart", part one.

On a humid pitch-black night in 1969, my plane touched down on the Saigon airfield that was currently under rocket attack. Black-out conditions were in effect and we were rushed to trucks and then transported to our barracks and its inclusive bunker for protection. I was assigned an m16 rifle, two clips of ammo, and given a helmet and flack-vest. I spent my first night in Saigon standing in the bunker, wondering "why?" I was even here. I understood none of it, except that supposedly it had to do with communism and we were protecting democracy. But, I just felt abandoned to the most bizarre and remote assignment I could imagine. I worked "support", so I do not want to give the false impression that I was "combat"; but I did serve some time in the jungle. Only one man died in our group during the year I was there; and he told me beforehand that he wanted to die and never return home. He had received his divorce papers in the mail about a week before my arrival. He was shot down in a helicopter "one" day before he was to return home. My one year in Saigon was a lesson in the deterioration of the human spirit and soul. Eventually, I also learned to hate myself and "living" and could care less about what might lie ahead. I was returning to the states with a crushed human soul, devoid of all optimism. This was "preparation-of-heart", part two.

On a humid gray-dusk-like-evening, I found myself, in 1970, driving through the main gate of Carswell Air Force Base in Fort Worth, Texas. I soon settled into my tasks of working in the 7th bomb wing headquarters, in support roles again as usual. I also served on the honor guard for special occasions for fallen veterans funerals, or award ceremonies. Even though my personal psyche was "wasted“; I was considered an admirable employee and respected for my abilities. My inner life however was an absolute disaster that I did not "share" with anyone. Strangely enough; I was visited by representatives of the "Navigators"; the same Christian organization that had approached me in Washington D.C. I began attending bible studies two nights a week and felt a little better about life by receiving this follow-up. I'll call this "preparation-of-heart", part three.

During my term of service at Carswell, I met my wife to be, Beverly, who invited me to her church in River Oaks, "Trinity Baptist Church". They had a young pastor, John Hatch, who was just finishing his doctorate at Southwestern and the atmosphere attracted me. It was in 1973, “4” years after that initial "preparation-of-heart"; that I made an honest commitment to Jesus Christ and immediately followed that with baptism.

From there, the road did not get any smoother, but my “soul” began a healing process that eventually went from healing to true "Wonder and Discovery". The first thing that was revealed to me was my spiritual gift, which is "Teaching". While at Trinity, I ended up writing three commentaries: James, Colossians, and Philippians. All three helped me grow in my commitment to Jesus Christ.

True conversion was preceded by three moments of "preparation-of-the-heart" in my case. Over a four year stretch of time, God never gave up on me. I think the strength of my testimony must be given to the strength of God's loving patience; to lead me along the final path that would secure my faith. Thank You.

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lectures on jurgen moltmann


Saturday, June 15, 2013


click on:  DIRECT LINK.

Nancy holds the Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel Chair at the European Graduate School, which already makes me a fan. But, as much as I enjoyed this challenging book, I did find one hole in it that I wish he would fill. (I did not read volume one, so I can only address this volume as a self-contained unit) Nancy tells us humanity needs an awakening. This awakening will come about through a deconstruction of Christianity. Remember this: Nancy's position is a de-construction of a Christianity that "informs" his system. So don't just throw him out if you feel your Christian sensibility is being threatened. You will find much value here.

the emphasis is on the explored unconscious, rather than cognitive consciousness. This is the rule for post-modern thinking so don't be alarmed. Nancy says that we can return to the vitality that underlies Christianity if...


1.  The self questions how the current “resonating-referral-state” can be opened towards co-existence.
2.  Questioning leaves the “rational” self facing  the “absurd” or the “abyss” of a huge dissemblance between universal co-existence and the particularities of contingency.
3.  The unconscious accompanies the positing with the motivation-set and the stored feeling-percept of the vertical intersection of reality by the “kenosis” of spirit.
4.  This is Kierkegaard’s “teleological suspension of the ethical”, where the self suspends the rational-logical evaluation of history and its “dissemblance.
5.  Self posits the “elevated language of affirmation”; in  spite of the tension we face and our own dis-placement.  We posit an  anticipatory opening of co-existence out of our “straining forward” standing purpose from the motivational set .  (Called “faith” in Christianity).

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