MY BRIEF TESTIMONY

BRIEF 5 min. PERSONAL TESTIMONY - BARRY BALLARD

On a warm summer day in Washington D.C., I sat in a small movie theater listening to a re-broadcast of a Billy graham crusade that had been previously given elsewhere. I was attending with a Christian group who ministered on the air force based where I was stationed, "Andrews Air Force Base". At the conclusion of the presentation, there was an invitation given to receive Christ and counselors were standing up front to pray with those who came forward. The house lights went up and I went forward and prayed to receive Jesus Christ into my life. This was not the moment of my true conversion, this was "preparation-of-heart", part one.

On a humid pitch-black night in 1969, my plane touched down on the Saigon airfield that was currently under rocket attack. Black-out conditions were in effect and we were rushed to trucks and then transported to our barracks and its inclusive bunker for protection. I was assigned an m16 rifle, two clips of ammo, and given a helmet and flack-vest. I spent my first night in Saigon standing in the bunker, wondering "why?" I was even here. I understood none of it, except that supposedly it had to do with communism and we were protecting democracy. But, I just felt abandoned to the most bizarre and remote assignment I could imagine. I worked "support", so I do not want to give the false impression that I was "combat"; but I did serve some time in the jungle. Only one man died in our group during the year I was there; and he told me beforehand that he wanted to die and never return home. He had received his divorce papers in the mail about a week before my arrival. He was shot down in a helicopter "one" day before he was to return home. My one year in Saigon was a lesson in the deterioration of the human spirit and soul. Eventually, I also learned to hate myself and "living" and could care less about what might lie ahead. I was returning to the states with a crushed human soul, devoid of all optimism. This was "preparation-of-heart", part two.

On a humid gray-dusk-like-evening, I found myself, in 1970, driving through the main gate of Carswell Air Force Base in Fort Worth, Texas. I soon settled into my tasks of working in the 7th bomb wing headquarters, in support roles again as usual. I also served on the honor guard for special occasions for fallen veterans funerals, or award ceremonies. Even though my personal psyche was "wasted“; I was considered an admirable employee and respected for my abilities. My inner life however was an absolute disaster that I did not "share" with anyone. Strangely enough; I was visited by representatives of the "Navigators"; the same Christian organization that had approached me in Washington D.C. I began attending bible studies two nights a week and felt a little better about life by receiving this follow-up. I'll call this "preparation-of-heart", part three.

During my term of service at Carswell, I met my wife to be, Beverly, who invited me to her church in River Oaks, "Trinity Baptist Church". They had a young pastor, John Hatch, who was just finishing his doctorate at Southwestern and the atmosphere attracted me. It was in 1973, “4” years after that initial "preparation-of-heart"; that I made an honest commitment to Jesus Christ and immediately followed that with baptism.

From there, the road did not get any smoother, but my “soul” began a healing process that eventually went from healing to true "Wonder and Discovery". The first thing that was revealed to me was my spiritual gift, which is "Teaching". While at Trinity, I ended up writing three commentaries: James, Colossians, and Philippians. All three helped me grow in my commitment to Jesus Christ.

True conversion was preceded by three moments of "preparation-of-the-heart" in my case. Over a four year stretch of time, God never gave up on me. I think the strength of my testimony must be given to the strength of God's loving patience; to lead me along the final path that would secure my faith. Thank You.

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Saturday, August 30, 2014

SPINOZA'S "ETHICS"

click link:  http://www.mediafire.com/listen/mcepvaavy5yv67u/spinoza2.mp3

BEFORE HEGEL THERE WAS SPINOZA; THE TRUE "MASTER"
1677 was a remarkable year. It was the year that the public was given Spinoza's "ETHICS", which represented his entire scheme of thought; not just "Ethics". In fact, it reads more like an "Epistemology" or even a "Phenomenology. These are also the reason that Spinoza is so appreciated by post-modern thinkers.

He begins his phenomenology with "PERCEPTION", in the realm of the "psyche". He creates the first emergence of the idea of "Positing" when he announces that an idea can be "real" and "true", but not "actual" in reality. It can still exist as a true representation of Absolute-Essence.

Everything, including you and myself are all enclosed within the one "spirit-substance" that has gone out of itself in "EXTENSION". This extension takes the forms of: ACTIVE-ATTRBUTES & PASSIVE-MODALITIES that enclose those attributes.
Because we exist as part of that "extension"; we possess an "innate" understanding of the "GIVEN-TRUE-IDEA" that will enclose our finite attempts at forming our versions of the "true". Our particular-modality of thought participates in the "Absolute-Thought" of the one spirit-substance.

His methodology is simple and feeds post-modernism to a tee. Reductionism or deconstruction will take us to the singularities of meaning that can be grasped as "clear & distinct" "concepts".
After deconstruction, we pass through dialogue in order to acquire a preliminary "FORM" of synchrony for these concepts. There is an "order" to the infinite attributes that have emanated.

Passing through the refinery of reductionism, analogy, and reflective understanding; we can finally formulate a diagram or outline of the notion of the true; that begins with the "PRIMARY-ATTRIBUTES" and builds down from there, developing sub-system concepts as we go.
All of this takes pace in an "UNDERSTANDING-WORKSPACE" in the intellect that is adding & refining constantly.
After the "notion" is diagramed, we are ready to compose our ontology or "PHRASEOLOGY" of essence, in order to persuade existence forward in spirit. He proposes an ethics of "Writing" a narrative. Notion, alone, is not enough. It needs to be formulated into narrative and shared.

"PRAXIS", however, is something else in this deterministic model. We are simply to participate in the process of the "necessary & the impossible". "Substance evolves of its own necessity and things reach essence out of necessity. "Impossibility" only exists if we GET IT WRONG. If we mistakenly articulate contradiction within an essence. "Impossibility" s a subjective-failure, not an objective-weakness.

His final ontology can be labeled as follows: 1. SUBSTANCE "IN-ITSELF"; 2. SUBSTANCE GONE OUT OF ITSELF AS "EXENDED-SUBSTANCE"; & 3. SUBSTANCE RETURNING TO ITSELF AS "CONCEPTUAL-PHRASEOLOGY"

This is the thinker who inspired so many; especially Hegel. 5 stars for this masterpiece.