MY BRIEF TESTIMONY

BRIEF 5 min. PERSONAL TESTIMONY - BARRY BALLARD

On a warm summer day in Washington D.C., I sat in a small movie theater listening to a re-broadcast of a Billy graham crusade that had been previously given elsewhere. I was attending with a Christian group who ministered on the air force based where I was stationed, "Andrews Air Force Base". At the conclusion of the presentation, there was an invitation given to receive Christ and counselors were standing up front to pray with those who came forward. The house lights went up and I went forward and prayed to receive Jesus Christ into my life. This was not the moment of my true conversion, this was "preparation-of-heart", part one.

On a humid pitch-black night in 1969, my plane touched down on the Saigon airfield that was currently under rocket attack. Black-out conditions were in effect and we were rushed to trucks and then transported to our barracks and its inclusive bunker for protection. I was assigned an m16 rifle, two clips of ammo, and given a helmet and flack-vest. I spent my first night in Saigon standing in the bunker, wondering "why?" I was even here. I understood none of it, except that supposedly it had to do with communism and we were protecting democracy. But, I just felt abandoned to the most bizarre and remote assignment I could imagine. I worked "support", so I do not want to give the false impression that I was "combat"; but I did serve some time in the jungle. Only one man died in our group during the year I was there; and he told me beforehand that he wanted to die and never return home. He had received his divorce papers in the mail about a week before my arrival. He was shot down in a helicopter "one" day before he was to return home. My one year in Saigon was a lesson in the deterioration of the human spirit and soul. Eventually, I also learned to hate myself and "living" and could care less about what might lie ahead. I was returning to the states with a crushed human soul, devoid of all optimism. This was "preparation-of-heart", part two.

On a humid gray-dusk-like-evening, I found myself, in 1970, driving through the main gate of Carswell Air Force Base in Fort Worth, Texas. I soon settled into my tasks of working in the 7th bomb wing headquarters, in support roles again as usual. I also served on the honor guard for special occasions for fallen veterans funerals, or award ceremonies. Even though my personal psyche was "wasted“; I was considered an admirable employee and respected for my abilities. My inner life however was an absolute disaster that I did not "share" with anyone. Strangely enough; I was visited by representatives of the "Navigators"; the same Christian organization that had approached me in Washington D.C. I began attending bible studies two nights a week and felt a little better about life by receiving this follow-up. I'll call this "preparation-of-heart", part three.

During my term of service at Carswell, I met my wife to be, Beverly, who invited me to her church in River Oaks, "Trinity Baptist Church". They had a young pastor, John Hatch, who was just finishing his doctorate at Southwestern and the atmosphere attracted me. It was in 1973, “4” years after that initial "preparation-of-heart"; that I made an honest commitment to Jesus Christ and immediately followed that with baptism.

From there, the road did not get any smoother, but my “soul” began a healing process that eventually went from healing to true "Wonder and Discovery". The first thing that was revealed to me was my spiritual gift, which is "Teaching". While at Trinity, I ended up writing three commentaries: James, Colossians, and Philippians. All three helped me grow in my commitment to Jesus Christ.

True conversion was preceded by three moments of "preparation-of-the-heart" in my case. Over a four year stretch of time, God never gave up on me. I think the strength of my testimony must be given to the strength of God's loving patience; to lead me along the final path that would secure my faith. Thank You.

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lectures on jurgen moltmann

mp3's

Saturday, April 21, 2012

DAMASIO - 8 X 10.5 JPEG FLOW-CHART

for the feeling of what happens lecture: CLICK HERE ON "AUTO-LINK" if "auto-link" does not take you to the JPEG file, then paste this address into your browser: http://www.mediafire.com/i/?c3hk6cdw1w2wq55

damasio: THE FEELING OF WHAT HAPPENS - explained

the complete process of consciousness development in neural patterns: CLICK HERE ON "AUTO-LINK" if it doesn't automatically link to the mp3 then paste this address into your browser: http://www.mediafire.com/?zxbjhu7j192d21a

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

GAZZANIGA: MORALITY CHART

8 x 10.5 jpeg morality circuit chart

http://www.mediafire.com/?y08319016p6twuu

GAZZANIGA: morality without free will; intuitively based

morality based on amygdala loop first..

http://www.mediafire.com/?ihbz2qj3nmv254b

Monday, April 9, 2012

wittgenstein's circuit: the chart

the chart: 8 x 10.5 jpeg

http://www.mediafire.com/?84r2u73uqka1ebg

WITTGENSTEIN'S CIRCUIT

the neural circuitry to wittgenstein's entire tractatus in 20 minutes. chart to follow.

http://www.mediafire.com/?j7hyaynjavxoqnh

Thursday, April 5, 2012

flow chart for hope-circuit lecture

8 x 10.5 jpeg format

http://www.mediafire.com/?z6j8vtck4z72fsr

terms are often used in a "symbolic" way on the chart. this is emphasized in the lecture at various stages.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

NEURAL CORRELATES FOR "GOD-OF-HOPE" CONSCIOUSNESS

gazzaniga's book entitled "human" helps in the quest for neural correlates for the theology of hope

http://www.mediafire.com/?evytc1pb3mawswt

NO METAPHYSICS HERE; ONTOLOGY - YES; METAPHYSICS - NO.
truly relying on hegel's "language of the concept" in the return to aesthetics from conceptual understanding..