MY BRIEF TESTIMONY

BRIEF 5 min. PERSONAL TESTIMONY - BARRY BALLARD

On a warm summer day in Washington D.C., I sat in a small movie theater listening to a re-broadcast of a Billy graham crusade that had been previously given elsewhere. I was attending with a Christian group who ministered on the air force based where I was stationed, "Andrews Air Force Base". At the conclusion of the presentation, there was an invitation given to receive Christ and counselors were standing up front to pray with those who came forward. The house lights went up and I went forward and prayed to receive Jesus Christ into my life. This was not the moment of my true conversion, this was "preparation-of-heart", part one.

On a humid pitch-black night in 1969, my plane touched down on the Saigon airfield that was currently under rocket attack. Black-out conditions were in effect and we were rushed to trucks and then transported to our barracks and its inclusive bunker for protection. I was assigned an m16 rifle, two clips of ammo, and given a helmet and flack-vest. I spent my first night in Saigon standing in the bunker, wondering "why?" I was even here. I understood none of it, except that supposedly it had to do with communism and we were protecting democracy. But, I just felt abandoned to the most bizarre and remote assignment I could imagine. I worked "support", so I do not want to give the false impression that I was "combat"; but I did serve some time in the jungle. Only one man died in our group during the year I was there; and he told me beforehand that he wanted to die and never return home. He had received his divorce papers in the mail about a week before my arrival. He was shot down in a helicopter "one" day before he was to return home. My one year in Saigon was a lesson in the deterioration of the human spirit and soul. Eventually, I also learned to hate myself and "living" and could care less about what might lie ahead. I was returning to the states with a crushed human soul, devoid of all optimism. This was "preparation-of-heart", part two.

On a humid gray-dusk-like-evening, I found myself, in 1970, driving through the main gate of Carswell Air Force Base in Fort Worth, Texas. I soon settled into my tasks of working in the 7th bomb wing headquarters, in support roles again as usual. I also served on the honor guard for special occasions for fallen veterans funerals, or award ceremonies. Even though my personal psyche was "wasted“; I was considered an admirable employee and respected for my abilities. My inner life however was an absolute disaster that I did not "share" with anyone. Strangely enough; I was visited by representatives of the "Navigators"; the same Christian organization that had approached me in Washington D.C. I began attending bible studies two nights a week and felt a little better about life by receiving this follow-up. I'll call this "preparation-of-heart", part three.

During my term of service at Carswell, I met my wife to be, Beverly, who invited me to her church in River Oaks, "Trinity Baptist Church". They had a young pastor, John Hatch, who was just finishing his doctorate at Southwestern and the atmosphere attracted me. It was in 1973, “4” years after that initial "preparation-of-heart"; that I made an honest commitment to Jesus Christ and immediately followed that with baptism.

From there, the road did not get any smoother, but my “soul” began a healing process that eventually went from healing to true "Wonder and Discovery". The first thing that was revealed to me was my spiritual gift, which is "Teaching". While at Trinity, I ended up writing three commentaries: James, Colossians, and Philippians. All three helped me grow in my commitment to Jesus Christ.

True conversion was preceded by three moments of "preparation-of-the-heart" in my case. Over a four year stretch of time, God never gave up on me. I think the strength of my testimony must be given to the strength of God's loving patience; to lead me along the final path that would secure my faith. Thank You.
















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Saturday, January 18, 2014

A REFINED ARTICULATION OF "SITE-OF-WITHDRAWAL" - BEAUFRET

click link:  http://www.mediafire.com/listen/7zp3zzf1378far5/beaufret4.mp3

REVISED GLOSSARY FOR SITE-OF-WITHDRAWAL:

1.        PHUSIS:  our word “physics” applies here.  Specifically used by Aristotle for depicting the physiological situation, with its internal tensions of:  phantasia and peras.
2.       PHANTASIA:  the obscurity of appearances that conceal the emerging peras-moment.
3.       PERAS:  literally means “limit” or limit-point.  But, for Aristotle, the limit-point is a moment of reaching threshold and “manifestation” of spirit.
4.       DUNAMIS:  literally means “force”; but for post-moderns this would represent an event's potential for speaking existentially to us; or its “phonological-force”.
5.       ENERGIA:  the actual “appearing” or manifestation of the “event”, at the “limit-point”.
6.       SPHERE OF “EXTENSION”:  the foreground of the event which presents to the self the: “en-doxa-signs” & additionally; the “a-doxa” aspects of non-being.
7.       SPHERE OF IMPRESSION:  the overlapping sphere of the self’s step toward the dokounta-threshold &  the event’s foreground.  This is where the self  appropriates the “eidos” of the event.
8.       EIDOS:  literally “form”, but for Aristotle it is inherently present in the appearing of the dunamis and energia of the event emerging out of “phusis”.  The bulging “sign-gestures” allow us to create a thought-picture of “form”.  To become conceptual in consciousness.
9.       KATEGORIA/APOLOGIA:  the composition-threshold in consciousness involves engaging in dialogue in order to form “spirit-architecture”. We share categories that abbreviate sub-systems of concepts. 

10.   SUSPENSION:  the realm of “suspension exists somewhere between our “turn” back to the unconscious, and the taking-up of the tangent-like-glance of unveiling signs.  This suspended moment is a temporary filtering out of unwanted concepts and a re-gathering of deeper intelligence.
Posted by at 9:53 AM

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